My Payback

And now, this is my turn to get afraid of loving someone seriously and putting biggest hope to someone. I just have my lesson, too much is also too bad. You're so right, Sam. I should learn to open my eyes to what you told me.

And now, i don't want to be with someone else anymore. Men are just friends, everyone is just friend. No romantic feeling and No hard feeling. I'm enough of all of this.

This is my payback for trashing him out last time the one that i said don't hope for too much for me to him, and now he's like saying that, "Don't hope so much for us".

"To be alone, maybe it will be the best."

He'll move on with his engaged-girl there. 

Sometimes, i feel it's unfair while i'm stabbed here all alone, he already has someone who can cheer him up and be there for him, while it was all my dreams. Yet, i'll just stick myself to think that i'll be okay though it will never be purely okay.

Death isn't the best to solve the things for you, but somehow it's really much better for someone who is hopeless like me to die instead of being dying yet still alive. It's like i'm put at the comma. Every memories will always follow me up as i'm still living. I don't want to die by commiting suicide, but i'll pray for God to take my soul whenever he wants it. And i'll just accept it. Sometimes, dreams are pointless to be formed while you don't have someone who is special for you.
People make their dreams come true actually for their special one, not for themselves.

Just thank you for everything back then.